Monday, April 04, 2005

Secrets and privacy

What do you do when you have something burning you up inside, it could be anger it could be joy, and all you really want to do is shout it out from the rooftops to have everyone hear. But this thing is also someone else's secret and so you can't?

How do you let it out?

I've always prided myself that when a friend asks me a question I will answer as honestly and completely as I can, with only one exception to that rule. That I will not share someone else's secret unless explicitly told too, and even then it'll be a big judgement call. I think this is why (well one of the reasons) people trust me, you can tell me your fears and desires and they'll never pass my lips....

This rule has stood me in good stead for .. well all of my life... but sometimes there is a difference..

What if it is my secret as well? part of me wants to share what I feel with the world, I don't need to give the details or spill any secrets but I want to share what I feel. All strong emotion can be like that I believe... Both the one's that can make you so furious you can't even see straight and you just want to lash out and hurt whoever is causing that pain in you (even if it is actually yourself causing the pain), as well as the uplifting and joyful one's where you want tell everyone how happy you are, and that you want to share that happiness with them and bring a smile to their faces as well..

Breaking the silence
But what do you say? You need to deal with more than just the secret, something you think is good and wonderful to share, can be seen by the other as terrible and a violation of that trust.. You have your own needs to take into account, as well as theirs... Then of course there's ways and ways of sharing.. a private conversation in a lounge room is one thing, through to phone calls, email, blog posts. Each one expanding the audience and what 'control' you can have over who hears what you have to say... Do you want/care that complete strangers can read/hear about your intimate secrets?

As to whether I have something to share, and if it's joy, sorrow or anger? Well, you can guess as much as you want, I always have elements inside me that I only show to select few, or maybe this is just one of those random thoughts going through my head on the ethics of holding your own and others secrets. Either way I think it's worthy of a rambling post, food for thought?