Saturday, December 25, 2004

Merry Xmas and some thoughts

Well there I was reading my favourite web comic on Xmas eve (as in tonight) and this strip was the latest one: Questionable Content: Another Kind of Ninja

Why have I travelled? (the long version)
Now this particular episode (you'll need to read the strip to get this next paragraph or so methinks), it reminded me of why I went and got married, and no doubt many of you are still thinking I was insane to do so. But it all comes down to what Marten says in this episode, it's about being willing to make stupid (and sometimes serious) mistakes that take your life in different directions, I would of rathered to of moved to Lismore, gone and got married than stayed and constantly wondered "What would of happened?"

Now for quite a long while after that particularly large decision came crashing down in a heap I was unwilling to actually take any risks (I can see some of you already agreeing with me here), I was only choosing the conservative path, staying with the norm.. But at the same time I was telling myself (almost mantra like) "I don't regret trying" "I don't regret trying" "I don't regret trying" and it's true for me (just as with Marten), that was closure enough for me... Though I didn't mind hearing what some of my friends said about my ex (more because of their friendship and desire to protect me, than because of the specific things they said).

But then over time I healed I started to consider taking risks and get out there and see the world (always been a dream of mine), but still I wasn't willing to lose what I gained (a house, a job etc...) But then a combination of things occurred, I went on a 'personal development course' that a good friend recommended* and came to realise only I was holding myself back, and started to try small things, take small risks, and guess what? I survived, the world did not come crashing down!

Then at the start of this year I read a small quote "The future is that time, when you'll wish you had of done, what you aren't doing right now." and it gave me pause (not the cat kind, more thinking music time) and so I asked myself "What will I regret not doing in a years time" and the answer was easy, it was that old dream of mine, to travel the world. So within 3 months I had:
  • figured out where I wanted to start
  • bought the tickets (one of the scariest steps)
  • quit my job (exhilirating to do when you've got no plans to get another job!)
  • organised my sister to rent my house from me (took nearly 3 goes to get that sorted)

and by mid-June I was on my way, taking one of my biggest risks (even though plenty of people do) and just going with it.

A mere nine months later I'm in London, having just started a new job (only a 3 month contract though), and looking forward to finding out where I shall go next. Still telling myself that if I'm afraid of doing something, that's ok. But not to regret not trying it. (of course there's still plenty of times I regret not doing stuff, but I'm getting there)

Summing it up
Well that kinda went on longer than I originally intended, and probably reads as totally self absorbed. But I've been asked on a miriad of occasions "Why did you move to Lismore?" "Why did you get married at 21!?" "Why have you travelled?" and so that was another attempt to try and explain why I've gone and done those bizarre things, and why I'm here now.

Merry Christmas!
So now, because it's nearly 11pm on Christmas eve, here in England, I hope everyone has a pile of presents at the foot of their bed, under their tree or in their stockings and that you have a fantastic Christmas! :-D

Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year!

Now go out and smile, people will wonder what you've been up to.

* The personal development course was a Landmark course.

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